


Lost my Illusions

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Established Relationship, Romance, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-06
Updated: 2007-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-03 09:25:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8706907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Sam Winchester thought love could conquer all. He thought that since his brother loved him enough to seal his soul for him that he could love him back enough to save that soul.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** Don't own-don't sue
> 
> Reviews make me really happy!

-I have lost my illusions-

 

Sam Winchester thought love could conquer all.

 

He thought that since his brother loved him enough to seal his soul for him that he could love him back enough to save that soul.

 

He believed that their love, while forbidden on every level, could face the world and come back victories.

 

He spent every moment of every day and night for a year searching...believing that his love was as strong as his brother's for him.

 

It was only when Dean's face to face with him, the devil behind him...demanding payment, does Sam give his love his last kiss then embrace the world of darkness alone.

 

-I have drowned in your words-

 

He spent five years searching for clues during the day, and listening to his brother's screams at night. He obsesses over each word, each moan.

 

He searched, hunted, killed, stole. Devoting himself completely to a hopeless clue.

 

He only gave in when he heard his brother's faint voice in the darkness call out in a final cry of pain.

 

-I have left my confusion to a cynical world-

 

He tried to make sense of it al one night. Why he'd ever thought leaving for Standford was a good idea. Why he ever resisted his brother's love for as long as he did. Why he spent all of that last year buried in a book when he could have been buried in his brother. Why Dean got to die for love and he had to die alone.

 

Sam lifted his brother's favorite gun to his mouth and closed his eyes...thinking only of finally being with Dean again. Somewhere where nothing matter but them.


End file.
